he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
