one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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