Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
