He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Randomize
