her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
