are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
