living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
