Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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