Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
