another moral hangover. fuck.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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