they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
