In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
