My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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