please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
