I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
