So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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