what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
