Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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