Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
