Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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