I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
