so that wasnt chicken after all
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
