are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
