so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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