Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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