We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
