i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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