I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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