You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
