'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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