I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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