she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
