I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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