Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
