Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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