Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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