you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
