It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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