we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
