don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
