Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
