I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
one might say we're banned from that church
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
