yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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