I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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