He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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