dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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