i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
