This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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