Where did you get a picture of my penis
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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