I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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